Shapes and Spaces

The diamond shaped prison- Glass seemed to suspend in mid air. One glittering piece floated in front of Zoe’s face catching the sun and projecting little rays outward as if it were sending a message. The world spun quicker than it usually did. Silence reigned here. Noise should have been ruler in this small place on earth but it was the silence that Zoe noticed and then..... nothing. Black. The darkest deepest black that Zoe had ever known. Thankfully it did not last long, the black become darker and darker until it consumed Zoe and she fell asleep. The beauty of that piece of glass would stay with her for many years. The world can be one big open space or it can be a maze of smaller spaces; squares, triangles and oblongs amongst millions of other shapes that humans create. The space in which they found Zoe was a sort of diamond shaped metal prison that took over an hour of cutting and bending to get her out of. She slept through the whole show of passers-by slowing down to get a glimpse despite their inner voices telling them not to. She slept through the screams of her mother as she was dragged from the bent shape that used to be a car. She slept through the phone call that was made to her dad. She even slept through her emergence from her diamond cocoon. She would continue to sleep for a while. The earth kept following its path and the days turned around the hospital like everything was as it should be in the world. But for Julian nothing was as it should be. His life had been tangled up and thrown around as much as the car had that carried his wife and daughter. He had just been given the news. His wife was in no state to talk to, she blamed herself and the news would not make things better for May. Better she find out later. Julian smoked the first cigarette he had smoked since the day he found out Zoe was to come into this world eight years ago. The taste of it suited the news, the situation, the feeling he had towards the earth right now. It seemed that colour was drained from this once lush and bountiful place. Zoe opened her eyes and saw nothing, she closed them and saw a glittering piece of glass refracting light in all directions but when she opened her eyes again she saw nothing. The only thing stopping her from panicking was the sound of her dad’s voice. It was all she could feel, it seemed to consume her and calm the fear that was trying to rise from her stomach to her brain. ‘Shhhh focus on my voice monkey, try to breathe slowly.’ Zoe realised that she was gasping for air as if she were deep sea diving for treasure and couldn’t get used to breathing oxygen from a tank on her back. She learnt about scuba diving in school and sometimes Mrs Hawkins would tell the class stories about her husband’s adventures beneath the sea. ‘Is there something on my eyes?’ Zoe asked, unable to reach up and remove the mask she was sure was there as her dad held both her hands in his. ‘No monkey. You were in an accident and are in the hospital. Your eyes aren’t working right now but the doctors are trying to fix that.’ One tear built itself up in Zoe’s left eye and made to escape down her cheek. It made it as far as the corner of her mouth before its attempt was thwarted by Julian’s big gentle index finger sweeping it away into non existence. The comforting touch of her dad’s finger on her face was enough to send her back to sleep and dreaming of treasure beneath the sea. ‘There is no way to tell how long this could last for. There is no logical explanation for this but it seems that the brain has decided to shut down her sight. Zoe suffered minor head injuries but all in all she is in good physical shape. The scans show no damage to her brain and her abrasions are minor…….’ As the doctor waffled on and talked in the way that only doctors do in these situations, Julian studied his face. A face that was clinging on to the last years of youth before full blown old age. A face that showed signs of far too many situations that he was in right now. A face that could do nothing to help the situation that Julian was now in. He thanked the doctor for his help and asked if he could see his wife while Zoe slept. He dreaded this moment. As he opened the door to this medium sized square space of which the hospital had many, he saw his wife in the last bed on the left. The room had four beds, of which two were occupied. One by an older lady, calmly eating her jelly and giving Julian a warm smile as he entered the room, and the other by May. His wife lay with her back to him and he could feel the grief radiating from her. May was hooked up to all the machines that Julian had seen in hospital shows on TV but the doctors told him that she would be fine. ‘May?’ the word was barely a whisper and seemed to take forever to reach her ears but when it did May shot up and looked around at him. Her gaze was the fiercest he had ever seen her wear. ‘Zoe!’ It was meant as a question but it seemed that by saying it like this May could force the answer she wanted out of her husband. ‘She is ok, but she can’t see.’ The reality of those last three words seemed to hang between them with a menace that Julian knew he was to live with for the rest of his life. May didn’t say anything she just stared at Julian as if she were trying to twist those three words around and find a combination that would mean something different. Julian sat down on the bed and stroked May’s hair not saying anything as she stared into the past constantly reliving the moment that brought her here. Eventually, as with Zoe, Julian’s touch sent her back into a restless slumber, albeit not as quickly or quietly. When they got back from the hospital the world pretended to be normal. The sun rose, people went about their business but in that little apartment shaped box built into that honeycombed building nothing was as it was. May could not look at Zoe without crying and Zoe did not understand why. Julian helped her get through those first few days by describing every minute thing. He would describe the ants crawling around the sink, the dance of curtains being tossed around in the summer breeze, the rays of light that caught the dust and looked like poles coming through the windows. Julian decided that in the time that Zoe could not use her eyes that she would see the world through his. Over the next few days as May withdrew into herself further and further, Zoe and Julian would share his eyes to create their own world. It didn’t take Julian long to realise that he didn’t want Zoe to see the world as it was, as he saw it; grey, ruthless and unforgiving. He wanted her to see the world that he saw before the accident, before this fell onto all of them. And then May was gone and it was just the two of them. -The spinning glass- The piece of glass was quite small and in no way interesting except that it floated in mid air as if showing off. It stood out against the spinning blue sky and the sun radiating through it made Zoe feel like nothing could ever hurt her. And then she woke up to the dark. And Julian’s voice. There was always her dad’s voice. As he guided her out of her room and to the kitchen for breakfast he explained everything, as if the producer of her life was narrating the special version for DVD. ‘Not long ago the sun rose and the world was bathed in orange shadows and right now the whole house is a burnt yellow colour. The clouds are streaked across the sky like scribbles made by a four year old.’ Julian’s voice was distant, as if he were entering Zoe’s world. ‘I used to scribble seagulls on my drawings.’ Zoe replied trying to have a conversation with her father rather than feel like he were just a voice in her head. ‘You sure did, now what do you want for breakfast monkey?’ ‘Worms on toast,’ it was not everyday that Zoe was in the mood to play this game with her dad. With that Julian laughed and the sound flowed through Zoe, she felt it more than heard it. She could hear him rummaging through the cupboards all the while describing what he was doing. Zoe closed her eyes and remembered the kitchen, small and simple. There were always herbs hanging from the basket near the stove. The window looked out onto the little courtyard that they shared with the rest of the little apartment building. She imagined the sky, a deep blue with the just finished sunset filling the room in a yellow haze, but most of all she imagined the scribbles for clouds clumsily filling the sky. ‘Worms on toast is served my lady.’ The voice next to her ear woke her up from her dream and plunged her back into darkness. As she began to eat her dad was making shocked noises that she was eating wriggling worms. The spaghetti on toast was one of Zoe’s favourites because it seemed to make her dad happy to play this game. She went along with it and made funny faces and they laughed in that little room. When she had finished breakfast she asked the question that seemed to hang in the apartment for weeks, ‘When is mum coming home?' And with the question finally plucked out of the atmosphere in the house and into the lives of its inhabitants something changed. Zoe was becoming accustomed to feeling her dad rather than reading the tones in his voice and she could feel that he was formulating an answer to her question. ‘Your mum needs a little time to herself, she’s not well and needs some time alone.’ The words were spoken carefully and slowly like Julian was walking a tightrope whilst speaking. ‘I know she is sick but why can’t she be sick with us?’ Again the air changed and Zoe could feel something, but was not quite sure what. She couldn’t possibly know how that sentence hurt her dad. ‘If you like we can try to call her again and see if she would like us to come visit her.’ There was something different in his voice this time. ‘What do I look like?’ The question was one Zoe asked often. It caught Julian off guard. Usually this was his favourite question to answer, it gave him so much joy to describe Zoe to anyone, most of all to her. A tear pushed its way out of his eye and made its way down his cheek, but he managed to keep it out of his voice. ‘Zoe Aston has long brown hair that goes curly after a shower. She has green eyes and plump cheeks that go red after being splattered by worm blood after breakfast. Zoe Aston is quite tall for her age but walks with the grace of someone much older than her eight years nine months and 3 days…’ ‘You made that up! I’m gonna check how long till my birthday.’ ‘The amazing Miss Aston favours colourful dresses and socks that are always falling down. She has long eyelashes that look as if they should make a sound when she blinks and her eyes are usually half closed because she’s always thinking about something very important. And there you have it, that’s what you look like.’ And with that the day was underway. Julian had stopped working and was looking after Zoe for the moment and he hadn’t really formulated a plan as to what was going to happen next. For the moment he was just happy spending time with her everyday and protecting her as much as he could. -The walks- The walks started on a grey drizzly day. The city was full of grey jackets, black suits and sombre faces intent on getting to their destination. Julian and Zoe weaved through the masses creating an invisible path that only Julian could see. As they followed this path Julian began his dreamy monologue, it had become second nature to him now. ‘Tall buildings reaching up into the sky and bending over the streets are above us, can you feel them?’ He asked almost as if to himself. When Zoe didn’t answer he continued. ‘On each building there are gargoyles. They look like they aren’t real but if you watch them for long enough you can see the smallest telltale signs that there is life in each of them. A blink of an eye here, a slight movement there.’ As he said this Zoe imagined the gargoyles living and breathing, protecting their buildings. The city was transforming into something very different to what she was used to. ‘The people around us are dressed in all the colors you can imagine. Deep red scarves, emerald green jumpers and sea blue pants. Their eyes are all different colors and are looking at us in different ways.’ They walked on in silence and Zoe was imagining all sorts of amazingly dressed people around her. She was imagining people with purple eyes and yellow scarves around their heads. People were looking at them with laughter or sadness in their eyes and this thought made her heart sing. She was already beginning to forget what the city looked like before and was rebuilding it through her dad’s eyes. Just then a tram rattled along beside them and Julian pulled her onto it. As they walked through the rectangular shape that would not have existed if it were not for humans, Julian found a seat and instinctively put Zoe on the window side. She could feel the coolness of the window next to her face. As they sat there she could feel her dad thinking hard about something. She was always wary when the monologue stopped. ‘Zoe it is time for you to go back to school.’ The sentence was almost a whisper amongst the rattle of the tram. For months after this day Zoe and Julian would continue these walks through the city and Zoe would continue to morph the city into something that it wasn't. But this day and this walk would end in a conversation that Zoe did not want to have but knew her dad would not let go. It had been months and Zoe was still waking to the sight of that piece of glass with the hope that when she opened her eyes they would really open, not just physically. ‘Ok.’ Zoe pushed the two letters out of her little mouth reluctantly. ‘I have called around and there are two options, you can go back to your school or start a new school for kids who are…….. in the same position as you.’ He fumbled over the words trying to find the best way to say what he had to say. ‘I don’t want to start a new school.’ Zoe replied honestly with no emotion. ‘Ok, well in that case, I talked to your principle and you can go back to school as normal but you will have a buddy who will help you out and you will have some extra lessons if you need them.’ And with that the matter was settled and Julian fell back into his monologue and Zoe drifted off into his world to soak in the last few moments before having to face the reality of her situation. The world blurred past her inner eye as Julian described the lush green parks that were almost forests encroaching on the city. She imagined the concrete being pushed up by roots and moss on the buildings. She could hear the birds sounding alarms as the tram rumbled past and imagined what it would be like to live in a tree in the city. The rumblings of the tram eventually rocked Zoe into a calm sleep that she would not wake up from until they reached their stop and Julian nudged her back into the world. -Monologue-less school- The smell of the school had not changed, it was a mixture of kids and cleaning products. But it was a certain product and whenever Zoe smelt it elsewhere she thought of school. Julian talked her right to her class room where her teacher Mrs Hawkins gently took her arm and showed her to her seat. ‘Why it is lovely to have you back Miss Aston. You will be sitting next to Leo, he will be your buddy and will help you in class.’ While Mrs Hawkins and her dad were talking she thought of Leo. Leo was taller than Zoe and had a haircut that looked like his mum cut his hair. It was a spherical bowl around his head. ‘Hey Zoe,’ he said in his high-pitched awkward voice. ‘Hey,’ Zoe replied with no real enthusiasm. And that was it. They sat there in silence to wait for class to begin. Julian kissed Zoe goodbye and she could hear his slow reluctant footsteps recede down the smelly corridor. Class begun as usual with Mrs Hawkins telling them a funny story about her weekend. Zoe wasn’t really paying attention, it was something to do with a fish she thought. She was thinking about how strange it was to not have the world described for her. For the first time since she returned from hospital she really felt like she couldn’t see. She turned to Leo, she could feel him wriggling in the seat next to her. ‘Could you tell me what Mrs Hawkins is wearing?’ she whispered. ‘Why?…..oh, ok. She is wearing that brown jumper that is too big for her and makes her look like a big poo.’ ‘Is everyone sitting in their normal seats?’ Zoe asked, hoping that Leo would slowly warm to his role of story teller. ‘Yep everyone except Lisa who isn’t here.’ Leo stated as dryly as Zoe could imagine. As the day plodded along, as days at school are known to do, Zoe couldn’t help but feel the hole created by the lack of her dad’s constant narrative. It felt to Zoe as if she were living again. It was hard for her to see this place through her dad’s eyes, he had never really described it to her. If she were in a place that he had talked her through, the echo of his narrative would bounce around the walls of that place. But here in this big square red brick building, Zoe had to go on her own memory and do her best. All day Leo tried clumsily to help Zoe, but without knowing it he was trying to fill some pretty big shoes. He added a lot of his own personal beliefs mixed with a lot of false information regarding school work, he was not the best person for the job. When the teacher said to open their books to page sixteen he would open to page six and be lost. Zoe would constantly have to ask and double check if he was on the right page. The other kids were full of questions for Zoe at lunchtime: ‘Did the car flip over and explode?’ ‘How many fingers am I holding up?’ ‘So you really can’t see?’ ‘Are you gonna get one of those dogs?’ Lunch time was taken up by answering questions to the sounds of Leo scoffing down one pie and two doughnuts. Zoe almost felt like she were famous and was having to answer the same questions over and over. By the end of the day Zoe was feeling comfortable at school, it felt like things were getting slowly back to normal, and when the bell echoed through the big square building and into the smaller squares within the building, Zoe walked down with Leo to the front of the school where her dad was waiting to take her home in a cloud of words. Over the next few months school returned to its usual routine for Zoe. The amazing story that had captured all the kids’ attention was overshadowed by a boy with a t-shirt with a swear word on it and a girl with braces: ‘Are they magnetic? Do paper clips fly into your mouth when you work past the office?’ ‘Can you open a can of coke with those?’ ‘Did they have to rip out all of your teeth to put those in?’ And just like that Zoe was once more just like everyone else. She listened in class but began to resent the dryness of the delivery of the information. She preferred it when Mrs Hawkins told stories. They were mainly about her husband and most of them had to do with the sea. Zoe swam with Mrs Hawkins’ husband among the seaweed and fish. She felt the currents on her face and saw the sun light pierce the surface to fall gently on the sandy floor in patterns that no man could reproduce. She swam with her hands by her side flowing through the water like a dolphin. This was where she was happy, this is where she wanted to be. Not in the grey shapes of the real world where she couldn’t drink it in, but here in a world that was constantly shifting and changing depending on the story or the person. -May the dreamer- The car rattled along drowning out the radio that was on softly. The sun streamed into the car filling it up with warmth and light, it was a comfortable safe place. May felt at home here. She could stay here forever. But she knew she couldn’t. It was as if the soft music was unsettling the mood and hinting to something, but she couldn’t tell what. She thought about her day. It was her day off and she was keen to catch up on things that life seemed to always get in the way of. Drop a library book off, grab a coffee with Sue ‘she has been at me for weeks now!’ Her thoughts went on into the possibilities of her day. All she had to do was pick up Zoe from school at 3.30pm, apart from that she was free. The road stretched out in front of May like a guiding path, the broken line in the middle approaching and passing as if it had no end. She drove on out of town to see Sue, the fact that Sue moved out of town to buy a house was something they talked about a lot. May thought she was crazy isolating herself out here. As much as everyone said they would come out and visit, it happened less and less as life once again found a way to stop people from keeping those kinds of promises. As she pulled up to Sue’s house the feeling of unease hung in the car. It couldn’t be the adult contemporary that was barely audible. May thought that maybe this song was playing at some traumatic moment in her life and that is why the unease was filling up the car. This made her think of all the ancestors that were queued up behind her. The millions of people that eventually led to her being born right back to the beginning of this race. She thought that of all of those people, maybe one of them had had a traumatic moment whilst this song was playing. Or maybe it was the smell in the air, the smell of the first few days of spring, surely that was more likely in the history that was behind her……May shook her head, she could get caught up in these kind of loops and just sit there zoning out for hours, one idea morphing into another seamlessly. May got out of the car and slammed the door. This sound woke her up with a cry. She looked around the room that was beginning to feel familiar. It had been two weeks since the accident but she did not know that. As far as May was concerned there was no accident, and there defiantly was no Zoe. Strangely enough though there was a Julian that came to visit to talk of the two previous fictional things. May liked her room. It felt safe and warm. She did not like it when Julian came to visit. This emotion annoyed her as she knew she loved Julian but all his nonsense recently really got on her nerves. He would constantly talk of bleak horrible things. Things that she had done! And he would show her pictures of a little girl. A little girl that began to enter her dreams and fill her sleep with a strange mixture of comfort, love, guilt and happiness. -Shapes- The first time Zoe flinched Julian thought to rub his chest to restart his heart. They were on one of their walks and Julian was describing the weeping willows, sadly leaning over towards the creek like old wizened men. A Bird flew straight towards Zoe and she jumped back in fear. Julian stood staring at Zoe not saying anything, scared that if he did he would cancel out the amazing event he had just witnessed. The break in his monologue jolted her out of her beautiful world and she stood there frozen with a questioning look on her face. For a while they stood there, Zoe side on to Julian blankly looking over the hill towards the city and Julian staring at Zoe as if he didn’t know her. If someone had been walking past at that moment they may have believed that the earth had stopped for just an instant. ‘Zoe?’ Julian’s word floated out into the world and seemed to suspend in mid air between them before it reached Zoe’s ears. ‘What was that?’ Zoe asked. ‘I don’t know,’ Julian replied, confused and not fully understanding what Zoe was asking. ‘You don’t know what just nearly crashed into me?’ Zoe asked. ‘Yes I know what just nearly crashed into you, but I don’t know why you jumped back.’ Julian replied. When Zoe didn’t reply Julian said, ‘it was a bird.’ ‘I can see shapes!’ And with those words two tears ran down Julian’s cheek in race to get to his lips and be devoured by his mouth. For Zoe the world had changed a little. The black had lightened a shade and shapes seemed to hide in the obscurity of the shade of grey. She spun around to see if the shapes would change, if the shapes were actual things around her. The shapes changed slightly but she could not make out objects. ‘I’m scared dad,’ she said and within an instant she felt his presences and the lighter shade was suddenly turned darker by his embrace. ‘This is a good sign monkey.’ As he said this she could feel wetness dripping onto her head. ‘This is a good sign.’ As they walked home from the creek Julian continued his monologue. He talked of how the creek was flowing and eels were slithering under the surface like the giant sea serpents they had read in a book together. He explained all the colours and personalities of the different eels and as he talked Zoe wondered if he had started talking like this even when she wasn’t there. When they got home Julian was straight on the phone to the doctor to book in an appointment and managed to get one straight away. He made her put her shoes back on and threw her jacket back on her. ‘How about a tram ride,’ he said with joy in his voice. ‘Do I have a choice,’ Zoe liked to tease him. ‘You always have a choice, you can say no and see what happens.’ ‘No!’ Zoe knew what was coming next. ‘Ok then let’s go.’ Julian sat on the tram fully concentrating on his descriptions but had a tiny whisper of a smile to his mouth. The wind has started to pick up, can you hear it? The tram is being pushed from side to side. The trees are being pushed and pulled around but are holding their ground. In the trees little birds are clinging on as hard as they can. A man with a long purple scarf flowing behind him is running to make the next stop to get on our tram. I don’t think he will make it. He does not look fit, he is slowing down and we are about to stop. He is going to have to put in one last effort if he is going to make it. And now we are at the stop and he is still a while off, Zoe push the button to try and keep the tram here for him, he has worked so hard to be on this tram. Zoe pressed the button and kept pressing it, people were starting to look over at her wondering why her father was not controlling his child. The man with the purple scarf climbed aboard puffing not knowing that the little girl in the red dress next to the man with a slight smile had held the tram up just long enough for him to get on board. ‘You helped him out in a very small way and he will never know,’ Julian said as the tram lurched into action again and people went back to looking into their little screens or staring off into the distance with headphones on. Zoe just giggled and leaned her head on Julian’s shoulder waiting for the inevitable monologue to lurch into action again as the tram just did. The man with the purple scarf found a seat and started to slow his breathing down and eventually pulled out his little machine and drifted off into a stupor, his face bathed in a very light blue glow. -May the dreamer- The afternoon was wearing on and May had to get back to the city by 3.30pm to pick Zoe up. She wrapped the conversation up as politely as she could and before she knew it was back in the rectangular space rattling down the freeway with the city towering before her getting more menacing with every kilometre. As she pulled up to school she found a park and waited in her little space for Zoe to come find her. She imagined Zoe looking for her bag amongst a pile of backpacks all either red or blue, all identical except for a keyring or a name written on the front. She imagined her little girl slowly making her way through the hall acknowledging other kids and teachers, completely comfortable in her world. When Zoe finally made it to the car she said something to May but no words came out of her mouth. May hugged her and felt a sense of completeness, the hug seemed to last a lifetime and May did not want to let go. After that Zoe sat in the back and pretended to be in a taxi, she loved to play that game. But her usual role play was spoiled by the fact that when she spoke no words found their way to May’s ears. May started the car and they rattled their way out of the car park. The awkwardness of Zoe’s muteness disturbed May but for some reason she could not explain she continued to drive as if all was normal. May watched as the middle line streamed towards her, occasionally breaking into dots and then putting itself back together. The familiar routine trip was progressing as normal: May would concentrate on the road, occasionally look in the rear vision mirror to check that she still looked the same. A glance at her phone, a look behind to see if Zoe was ok, fingers on the dial for the air-conditioning and then suddenly…… nothing May woke in a sweat with the image of the air-conditioning dial firmly imprinted in her mind and just the tiniest whisper of Zoe’s ghost hiding way back in the darker edges. And then suddenly her daughter thrust herself into May’s mind……. ‘Zoe,’ it was barely a whisper. -The waking world- For weeks Zoe was prodded and manipulated until she felt more like a doll than an actual person. Lights were shone in her eyes, questions asked and repeated and asked again until she started to wish that she wasn’t seeing shapes so that she could go back to the world she had created with her dad. The doctors seemed positive that things were getting better and that all would be normal with time. Zoe was not so sure. After one of these prodding sessions, as the tram roughly carried them towards their little apartment building, Julian’s monologue had turned into a discussion and the subject was of how everything was going to be normal again. Zoe preferred the stream of words that her dad would usually let flow, allowing Zoe to float along and not feel a part of the world. Not have to think that her mother hated her, or blamed her for the accident. Not have to feel the sadness radiating from her father. Not have to constantly remind herself that her eyes were open. ‘….that it was getting better each visit and if you continue like this you will be back to normal in no time at all.’ Zoe could hear that her dad was daring to hope, that he didn’t want to jinx it, but she could feel the optimism in his voice. ‘I feel like the gargoyles are kinda nervous today.’ Zoe said, trying to get the monologue kick started again. ‘Oh they are. It takes a keen eye to spot it but they are fidgeting and seem more guarded than usual. One just licked his lips! It could be the weather, it is a known fact that gargoyles don’t like nice sunny days, they like it when the sky pours and the wind howls, it keeps the enemies away. But today is so clear and beautiful, the sky is a deep blue and it………’ And with that the monologue was underway and Zoe wrapped herself in her father’s words and drifted all the way home in them. When they got home as her dad was explaining how the dust was floating in the sunlight and being pushed around by the air that stirred as they made their way into the lounge room and suddenly Zoe realised that she could see colours. She kept it to herself and slumped onto the couch to let the monologue slowly begin to wind down as her dad put the kettle on. ‘I can see colours!’ She yelled to her dad with no real emotion. She heard the sound of a cup being put down brusquely followed by heavy footsteps. ‘Colours?’ the word seemed to carry with it some sort of deeper meaning. ‘Yep, colours,’ and as she said this, the world seemed to be all out of focus. ‘What do they look like?’ He asked ‘Blurry.’ She answered. And with that he laughed and picked her up and spun her around. ‘This is a good sign monkey, a good sign!’ -Epilogue- The monologue had long ago ended and Zoe was firmly planted back in the real world, except that the world she was in was not the one she hungered for. The forest had been beat back from the city and the gargoyles perched on their buildings, lifeless. The people in the city dressed in the most boring colours and seemed to be absorbed by their little screens. She needed no description of how she looked as she grew, the mirror told her all she needed to know in a clinical and silent way. For a long time she could not see beauty in the world. It was as if the world Julian and Zoe had created had been torn down and replaced with this cheap replica that followed the monologues. But as the years drifted along through shapes and spaces, Zoe learned to see what it was her dad had showed her. The amazing colourful sets of eyes that were as quickly taken away as they were introduced into her life on her daily travels. The faces that hid in the patterns of rugs and shadows. The little acts of kindness that people did for each other everyday that went unnoticed. The sound of a fan on a hot night that gently licked against your warm skin. The spinning of glass suspended in mid air; one glittering piece floating, catching the sun and projecting little rays outward as if it were sending a message. The spinning world Silence Nothing